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A couple is sitting on the porch sipping wine. The wife says, "I
The husband says, "Is that you or the wine talking?"
The wife replies, "It's me, talking to the wine."
A recent study found the average
golfer walks about 900 miles a year.
Another study found golfers drink, on average, 22 gallons of alcohol
That means, on average, golfers get about 41 miles to the gallon.
A lawyer was cross-examining the doctor about whether
or not he had checked the pulse of the deceased before he signed the
death certificate. "No," the doctor said. "I did not check his
pulse." "And did you listen for a heartbeat?" asked the lawyer. "No
I did not," the doctor said. "So," said the lawyer, "when you signed
the death certificate, you had not taken steps to make sure he was
dead." The doctor said, "Well, let me put it this way. The man's
brain was in a jar on my desk but, for all I know, he could be out
practicing law somewhere."
BEACH WEEK - August 2 -
2 - Mary Ann Theisen (1959)
August 4 - Jeffrey Paul Boteler (1982)
August 4 - Heidi Pike (1973)
5 - Donna Allison Lacey (1970)
August 9 - Lisa DiBari Kans (1972)
August 11 - Timothy William Boteler
12 - Kevin Robert Kans (1960)
August 13 - Ellen Zitzman Boteler
August 15 - Megan Elizabeth Bowser (2000)
August 19 - Naomi Rebecca Boteler (1919-2010)
August 21 - Robert Emmett Kans, Jr. (1964)
August 21 - Dorothy M. Lacey (1946-2011)
August 22 - William Joseph Boteler II (1990)
August 29 - Erin Irene Kinnane (2000)
August 31 - Linda Engel Sebold (1949)
August 12 - Paul & Teri Boteler (1978)
August 13 - Bill & Dorothy Lacey (1986)
15 - Doug & Jennifer Kans (1992)
22 - Catherine & David Juracich (2009)
An elderly couple was in bed one night and the woman woke up
from a bad dream. She was scared and panicking. Her husband
awoke and turned the light on to calm her. He asked what was
wrong. She said "I had a dream that I died and you got
remarried." she asked him "if I died tomorrow would you get
remarried?" he said "sure, I don’t want to spend the rest of my
life lonely." then she asked "well would you two live in this
house?" he replied "sure, we just got finished paying off our
mortgage." she asked again, angry now "well would she sleep in
this bed?" he snickered and said "yes, of course, this bed is
brand new and expensive, there's no reason to rid of it." she
asked irately, "well would she use my golf clubs?" he replied
with a straight, serious face "no. She's left handed."